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pg 2

this a page from the comic im making for my children's pastor at church....what do you think? Any thing I should improve on?

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  • thnx im gonna do that. I need the constructive criticism....it really helps!
  • Hey Richard, this page has some nice things happening in it. You have clean lines, and from top to bottom I can tell whats happening.  A few suggestions:

    1) Frames 1 and 2  would benefit from having the character or pursuers move through them. This would up the emotion and clarity... and reveal how the character got to Frame 3.  The dialogue balloons and font could be reduced a bit to give you more drawing room.

    2) Its unclear what the blurry dots are in Frame 3, or where exactly the character is. This is important to clarify what is happening in the last frame.

    3) The last frame has a nicely drawn hand, and the action lines create a sense of anticipation for whatever is going to happen on page 3.

    4) Some of the dialogue is...dated ("Resistance is futile"), some of it is confusing ("Stop resisting and surrender"...that implies physical confrontation has just happened or is happening now), and some is out of order("Halt" should come after "Around this corner", not before).

    The page is interesting and you should definitly stick with it.

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