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page3

Page 3 done! My coloring technique is gradually changing as I figure out new ways of doing things. Sometimes on accident. For the most part I am really happy with this page. I may change the name "Toldrum" later...It's 2:30am and so my brain is not working that great and I don't feel like putting much thought into at this time. Well I hope you all like it and as always feedback is appreciated!

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Comments

  • I like this piece so much. I actually like the darker version of the 3 creatures. To keep the creatures from blending in with the shadows, maybe make the eyes glow a little for the ones that's more in the shadow, and push the tree on the right more to the background by lightening it or adding a 2nd light source in the back. The highlights you have going on in the original are very interesting, and I think you could play on that more. I would actually like to see more dark shadows in panel 1,3, and 5 since the trees are blocking the sun. Can't wait to see page 4, keep it up.

  • Hey Christina, In these early stages I am not really sure where this will go. I had another story that I was prepping for and this story was meant as a practice run. I didn't have any intentions of making this a Christian comic when God sort of said to me "I want this comic". The story concept just came to me as I worked, and when I compared the story concept to my own walk I realized just how far I was missing the mark. So, if this comic does not reach any audience and does not touch anyone else's life, God has already used it to ignite a new fire in my life, hunger for his word, and heart for the lost like I have never had before.

    That being said here is MY thoughts on where I would take this...but we will see what God has planned.

    I would like to have about 8 pages completed. Then I would like to launch a website and release pages in the form of a weekly webcomic, where I would put one page out a week on a schedule. The 8 pages would give me a 2 month buffer. I would set up an RSS and Facebook account so it would be easy for people to follow. I would like to add a section to the site that breaks down the themes and Christian undertones in the comic.

    Then if it gains a following, and if I get enough pages completed to compile into a volume or book, at that point kickstarter seems to be the way to go. I can't imagine doing a kickstarter until I have the work already produced though. I would think people would be more willing to back if they A. were familiar with the story and B. knew they would not have to wait too long to get a copy.

    This is all wishful thinking. I am taking it a day at a time and seeing what God does with it. The feedback from this site has played a pivotal part in keeping me motivated. I am still learning a lot and growing with each page and want to make sure I have something worth building a site for, worth putting my time and effort into, and that I can keep up as a weekly schedule.

  • Nathan, I like the adjustment better for your last panel, very well done as it's much clearer on the creatures that are crashing through the forest. The blurred effect, as said before, really makes the panel pull forward at the reader. Are you considering self publishing or running a Kickstarter project for this comic?

  • Hey Gerry, haha, no they are not baboons, although they do have some monkey like characteristics. I was just creating a creature, sort of a mix of animals. I realize they are a little too dark and on some screens they blend too much into background. I have since lightened them up so they pop a bit more. 

    Hey Brien: YW for the balloons comment. I only caught that because of the paper wings tutorial so hope it helps :)

    I totally agree about the name. I am not happy with it so I will work on it and change it. Thank you for the suggestions.

    Here is the page again with last panel adjusted:

    3884381825?profile=original

  • I agree with Gerard: the pacing slows, stops and crashes forward beautifully. The blurring in Pic five is amazingly effective for such a narrow shot, puts attention right on her and her reaction. What a great page! 

    I generally like villains names to sound like something disgusting or end with a gutteral consonant; perhaps Toldrum could be changed to Toldrak or Toldrug...

    PS. Thank you for your astute comments on my word balloons and the PaperWings website!  Very useful!

  • Great pacing, you've communicated so much coolness in just a few panels:) I like the use of the blur effect in panel 5 just before the ((baboons?)) come crashing down from the trees above:) Great page!
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