I'm working on something and I've gotten a bit stumped. In the story I'm writing, I have a girl who is from a wealthy family and the plot I have for her is her journey from self-centered materialism to faith in Christ. The first step in her journey is her encounter with a cult, The Church of Melvin, which is a sort of rip-off of the Hare Krishnas on drugs. The Melvinists have lost a sacred artifact, 'The Sacred Chapeau of Zarquod, the mixer of granola (the commune's cook's hat), and have gone forth to find it. As this girl is walking home on a street in herhometown, she encounters the Melvinists looking for this lost artifact, peering into mailboxes, trash cans, looking up trees, into windows, one male cultist being chased out of a ladies' bathroom, chanting and dancing for the artifact's return. After they look all around her and move off down the street and she wonders what that was all about, an acquaintance of hers from the same background makes a disparaging comment about people who belong to a church, stating they need medication.
As you might have guessed, this is supposed to be humorous, and I have found out I'm as funny as an accountant. Does anybody have any suggestions? Thanks and God Bless You.